Monday, August 16, 2010

Are you friends with your ex?

After a breakup, you know the painfull, I thought you were the one break up... How does one build a friendship after a break up. When is it okay to start talking after a break up.





I was totally in love with this guy he cheated 3 years ago, and I just cant get past it. So I moved out. I think he's a great person just a sucky boyfriend. Are you friends with your ex?
I dont know how anyone can be friends with an ex, especially ';I thought you were the one'; kind of ex. I think you have to have complete no contact policy to get over it and move on. I personally dont know if I ever thought my ex husband was ';the one'; (seriously), but I know I am not even friends with him. We are just two people that share two kids. And I dont mean for that to sound like it's not significant (having these two wonderful daughters that we have), but we are just as polite as possible and that's it. I dont think him and I will ever be friends and I have no problem with that. For example, today we were both at an event for our daughter, but had no speaking or hanging out with each other and that is a good thing. We just spoke as to who would be giving her a ride home and that's all we need to talk about. I know I am a good person and I know he has some good qualities, but he was a terrible husband and such is life. End of story.


So, furthmore, I dont think you have to talk to your ex and if it was that painful you should just steer clear. I dont think you can build a friendship, let alone have a friendship or at least maybe for you and some other people, you can but it's going to take a long time to get to that point and you shouldnt be dwelling on it. Take care of yourself.


That's what Im doing and I have to force myself to take a different road now, but I am all the better for it and I have and am continuing to find out what I like to do as an individual for once in my life. Sometimes I still feel selfish when I go off and do my thing, because for years I tended to him and I had my daughters to take care of, but you have to come to the point where you have to do for yourself and not feel guilty about being selfish. And that does not include having a friendship with your ex because that is in the past.

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