Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Would you be friends with your ex?

I dont even speak to my ex anymore, we were together for 4 years and he left me. I got a new boyfriend that is wonderful, we have been dating for 6 months so far and he is great. Well my ex sent me a message on myspace saying '; Wow we cant be friends, you dont even bother to contact me anymore, you most not be a smart person';. Well my thing is how can we be friends, its not right to be friends would you agree?Would you be friends with your ex?
No, I would't. Just because of the way he said it to you. You guys will be friends, he will probably try to get back with you.Would you be friends with your ex?
Sounds like he want's you back maybe he figures that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Also that you must not be smart sounds like he is pretty full of himself. I'll bet he practices in front of the Mirror every day. If he dumped you for someone else and you have moved on. Then the truth is Pick your friends carefully they will be with you forever. So do you want him around for that long it doesn't sound like you do, I would tell him to ';Piss Off';.
Well I have a few ex's and I don't contact any of them. After what your ex said on your myspace - I would continue to avoid/not contact him.





You say you're happy with your new guy, so play it cool and give all your attention to him. eh





Sorry to say but your ex sounds like a jerk with a note like that.
I am friends with most of my ex's, but it depends on the situation... If there is allot of emotions between the two of you, typically it is best to just let things die down for a while... My advice would be to give it some time, and then ask your ex out for a cup of coffee...
It is so not right to ignore him!! YOU SHOULD BE FRIENDS.





Honestly, why shouldn't you talk because things didn't work out with you two relationship wise?!





Be friends, say ''i'm really sorry, i didn't know if you wanted to''





it's great to have more friends, i'm friends with all my ex's it's great most of them are my best friends ;D
well it depends on how long the relationship goes on and the type of guy i'm dating. if he's nice and its only a couple months to a year then yeah i'd be friends with him but in your case 4 years is long and its time to get over it.
well i think that u shouldnt he left u and out of nowhere sent u this message thats random


he may miss u or miss u for something else


he saw that u moved on and that ur happy with someone else


he may thought that ull be sad and alone and u got a new man thats wonderful ur ex si the one that needs to move on and no i dont think u should be friends with h
I would be friends with an ex if it felt right as in .. there was no hurt, no feelings and the friendship was mutual .... and i could be happy if i saw them with someone else ... i wouldnt be friends if they had mistreated me and been a complete jerk to me or cheated or lied ect ect
i agree with you and the fact that he said your not a smart person is rude...i mean he left you, y shuld u want to be friends w/ him..u shuld ask him that
You can deffinately be friends but if he's going to be rude like that and 1)message you on myspace and 2)say your not contacting him when he's obviously not trying to contact you either, i wouldn't bother hah. good luck though!
noooooooo u should totally be friends








im like good friends with all my ex's (except one..) and its way better than not seeing or being with them at all





its good... to have them alittle than not at all. keep them hanging. ;D





goodlux鈾OXO鈾opethishelps
if he left you thats his problem but if you left him you can atleast be his friend :) and if he left you its your choice
I think your ex is trying to play you.. I think being friends after breaking up is misleading if it wasn't a mutual break-up.
well if you want to be friends than sure. but if he was an *** with the whole break up then no.


or say idk, and make him work for it before you decide
he said you are dumb! he 's just mad because he messed up and cant hit it anymore
NO...keep it how it is! It will cause drama with your current bf. Trust me, my gf made sure to tell me I better not keep in touch with anyone I dated lol.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO not unless u want sex or to get back together, dont b friends\
n most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another -- unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course (and even then). You've shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and it's time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends -- which ultimately leads to more broken promises.





So why can't ex-lovers remain friends? Why is it all or nothing?


COMFORT ZONE


Although it would make things much easier in the dating world, relationships rarely see mutual breakups. One person is usually the heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for weeks, even months. It's never easy to break up with someone you've shared good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times ).





But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce: ';It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?'; This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex.


I'VE CREATED A MONSTER


Not only does it give the dumper the comfort of knowing they aren't monsters, but by wanting to remain friends, it also allows the dumper to feel that their former lover will still be in their life, and they won't have to miss having them around.





So now the dumper can move on with their life with ease, and with the pleasure of having coffee with their former mate every so often -- but the ex whose heart was ripped out and chewed up by the person who keeps leaving them friendly messages and e-mail isn't a happy camper.





Obviously, these messages on the machine and coffee dates don't last long, and if they do, they end even worse than the breakup. Yes, being friends with an ex-lover is an impossible feat: find out why.


EXES MUST STAY THAT WAY


You've Seen Each Other Naked


Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it's difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been most intimate with someone. You will always have an image of that person naked, and memories of the trysts will always be triggered by the smell of her skin or perfume, or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to.





And as thick-skinned as you are, it's hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each other's skin and sharing a moment of sheer ecstasy with one another.





Why else can't exes become friends?
No he can't have his cake and eat it too. You all ready have friends. That's just selfish of him selfish. He can't have you in a different way because he wants to change the format of the relationship. If he doesn't want what you had before, he doesn't get to all of a sudden switch who you are in his life and become your friends. You can be acquaintances and get along, you can say hello etc. He needs a piece of you, but don't give it to him.





And it's not like you ignored him, after 4 years together and a lot of history, he broke your heart (I'm assuming). Of course you needed some space and time apart from him! That was really rude of him, what happened to the ';hi, how are you?';. I'm 100% not against being friends and i know it can work for some people. Maybe you can in the future. Be smart about it, say that you weren't ignoring him. You were just pretty cut up when he left you and needed your space. Leave it like that, sounds more respectful.





My ex of nearly 3 years broke up with me 2/3 months ago also because we never had time together (university) and thought i was unhappy about it. Anyway he left me and wanted to be friends.I said yes at the time, because i loved him. Now I'm not sure, probably not, definitely not right now. Who knows, maybe in the future.
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