Monday, August 16, 2010

Why do you stay friends with your ex-wife/ex-husband?

While I am not lumping all of you together... I have first hand experience in this matter. I dated a guy who had been divorced from his ex-wife for over a year...he and I hooked up, had a great time and grew close. I never distrusted him and I understood the contact he had to have with his ex-wife because they shared a small child together. She would come over to his apartment and they would all hang out together and I saw nothing wrong with that. Then it happened...he cheated on me with his ex-wife while having a visitation and it hurt. I have heard that this happens quite a bit. My dad recently told me that some guys at his work brag about getting some from the ex before meeting up with their girlfriend. I know women who had full knowledge that their ex spouse had a girlfriend but had no problem doing the deed with their ex?

Can't some of you ex-wives see how your behaviors can lead to the insecurity with the new woman in your ex-spouses life?

I understand keeping a civil relationship for the sake of your children and I understand that kind of relationship...however, why do some of you ask questions about his life or what he is doing or try to get him to come over and do something for you are you trying to see if he still loves you or something?

New girlfriends accept the fact that they weren't the first woman in their guys life but if you all have ended your marriage can't you cut the gal some slack...many of you attack, belittle, and try to cause problems for her. All she wants is peace. Why do some of you have to create such havoc in the lives of your ex spouse and his new love interest?

BTW - I have an ex as well.... I do not interfere with his life. If he tells me that he has company, I respect that and do not call. I keep our contact limited as I care enough about him to want him to be happy and do not wish to be a point of contention for his new love interest.Why do you stay friends with your ex-wife/ex-husband?
Okay I am an ex-wife and I don't ask my ex for anything. Not all women are like that, I think that some just seem to think that they have to prove to the new girl that they can have them. I don't talk to my ex about anything but our child. We don't hang out, talk, or have any involvement in each others lives except to exchange our child. So it sounds to me like him and his ex have some unfinished business and maybe even some feelings there. I would get out now!Why do you stay friends with your ex-wife/ex-husband?
2 reasons

one is the children they have together

second is they get along better as ex's than mr. and mrs.
I completely understand where you are coming from. When I met my husband, his ex was pregnant with someone elses kid and they had been divorced a month and she was almost four months pregnant. Her boyfriend left her and all she did was call and ask if he loved her anymore and tried kissing him when I wasn't around and grabbing on him and asking if he remembered when they were first together. She has a boyfriend now, but she's always making comments about how he never looked that good when he was with her. Luckily, my husband tells her he is finally happy and with the person he is meant to be with. I think some ex's like the thought of what they can't have anymore, so it makes them try to get them back. It's not that they want them, they just don't want them to be happy and I'm sure this was the case with your boyfriend and his ex.
My ex-husband and I still have sex and still love eachother. I don't care if some bimbo thinks she can take him from me. I have no respect for her because he's mine and always will be. In body, mind and heart. No other girl can compare so she can just get lost because she's wasting her time.
I'm friends with my ex because I'm a decent person who doesn't feel the need to carry anger and bitterness around forever. As I read your question, I see that you're not really asking why we stay friends - you want to know why the new girlfriends should put up with any crap from the ex-wife. It sounds as though you actually believe that most divorced men are friends with their ex-wives so they can get laid.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have never met a woman who stayed friends with their ex just so they can make life miserable for his new g/f. If that was the goal, it certainly would not enter into the realm of friendship.

It's not up to the ex's to make you happy. It's up to your partner to put a stop to his ex's bad behavior.
I had the same problem but it was with my husband and the woman he fathered a child with at the time before we married which he told me that he had no children..found out from one of his relatives later on..this woman would not go I had to divorce him because i REFUSED to play a part of this game with the two of my life is sooo much better and happier for it..sometimes you get tired of worrying where your man is and if he is with her...and that was the case with me..after you become a certain age you surely wont tolerate things you used to when you were younger.

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